Heartbreaking Love

Friday, June 25

The last day.  We all dread this day.  It is a good thing our clothes are already dirty from a morning of work because there isn't enough tissue in Honduras to handle our tears in the afternoon.  All of us wiped tears on the sleeves of our shirts all afternoon.

We started the morning as usual at the work site.  More shoveling, wheeling, dumping and tamping.  Mary and Courtney unanimously won the title of "Tamping Queens"  (sung to the Abba song, Dancing Queen).  They tamped most of yesterday and all morning until it was time to say good bye to our Honduran co-workers.  They tamped an entire room right up to the top of the foundation wall!  We had a fun time working, sharing Tootsie Pops with everyone (funny sight to see all 20+ of us, North Americans and Hondurans working diligently with Tootsie Pop sticks hanging out of our mouths!), and generally joking around with N.Amer and Hondurans alike.  It was sweet to see one of the workers be so gentle with Alex (young Alex - Pamm's other, Honduran Alex son) and Yonibel who wandered up to help.  He was patient with them and showed them how to shovel more efficiently, etc.  We were all sad to say good bye to each other.  It doesn't take long, and common language is not required, to build relationships with the Hondurans.

At 2pm we joined the children in Cottage 1 for a "reunion" - Honduran word for final program.  We look forward to it and dread it at the same time.  It is always so sweet and dear but so very emotional knowing we have to say good bye to our precious children.  (we have all adopted them all by that point)  Gabriel, who provides an outstanding male role model and who works with the girls on microbusinesses, led the reunion.  Gabriel is wonderful.  He led us in prayer several times. He puts his heart and soul into prayer as you can see in the picture.  Several groups of children got up and sang for us.  I did alot of the translating and had my first emotional moment when I explained to our group that the song the children just sang said, "God is in this place, the Spirit is in this place, God is here with us."  Truly, not just a praise song but an observation of what we all see, feel, and experience.  Little Jocelyn, age 4, got up and recited (as she rocked back and forth with a huge grin on her face) the 23rd Psalm.  After all the children performed for us, Gabriel called us all up to the front.  He said the children were going to pray for us.  Several children ran up to join us so each of us had our arms around a child, except Bruce who was holding Jocelyn!  Then Gabriel asked me to explain to the team that we had our arms around the children the same way Jesus puts his arms around us.  (sob)  He and the children prayed so hard for us, thanking God for us and our presence, praying for safe travel, and praying for our families back in the US.  All of us were sobbing and wiping our tears on our sleeves.  He wanted to know if we had words for the children.  I got up and in Spanish (!) told them how much we love them and that we don't want to go home but we must.  I told them we will all come back because we, and Jesus, love them so much.  Then I tried to get some of the other team members to say something.  They all shook their heads no because they were crying so hard they couldn't speak. So I told the children that they couldn't say what was in their hearts because they were crying so hard.  (giggles) I told them our hearts are breaking with love for them.  Next Gabriel asked the staff to come up to join us.  Amy, a teacher from SC who is spending the summer at SBV, led us in prayer for the wonderful staff.  We are all so moved and impressed by these beautiful people who love and care for God's littlest lambs.  

All too soon, it was time to get on the van and weep our way down the road and back to Erika's.

Meanwhile, Jan, Leamarie and Anne were in Flor del Campo.  Leamarie and Anne are staying until Tuesday so didn't have the tearful goodbyes.  Jan, on the other hand, did.  She helped the ladies finish skirts (with zippers!) that a team from SC had started last week.  Several ladies made Jan banners (beautifully made on the sewing machines) and they all cried as they shared their love for each other.  Erling sobbed as he hugged his new mother good bye.

Anne and David went into La Cantera to see the results of the "chicken project."  St. James sponsored two families to get chickens, the chicken houses (I know there is a farm-y name for where they live) and instruction on how to care for them.  The families eat and sell the eggs from the chickens and, when baby chicks appear, they give the grown-up chickens to another family and continue to raise the chicks.   Anne happily told Isidra that St. James sent down money for another family to join the program.  This is major for the people in La Cantera who can't afford to buy eggs.  Selling the extra eggs will be a great source of income.  Gladys, the Honduran Director here in Honduras, had written a very well thought out, detailed, and professional grant request for the Chicken Project.  Very impressive.

I guess one message I would like you all to get is that the Hondurans are great people.  The teachers are providing an education that rivals the quality in the US.  The Honduran administrative staff are hard working, professional, and very creative.  All the caretakers LOVE the children.  Every single staff member deeply loves the Risen Lord and considers every day an opportunity to witness to the power of His love.

So, packing, debriefing - discussing our impressions and preparing for reentry, planning our return to Honduras, Compline, and bed.

Blessed trip.  Thanks be to God.

Donna joined us for our last day of hard labor This was right before

Bonnie tripped over the leveling string and dropped and rolled across the dirt! Courtney and Mary, Tamping Queens Group shot with our co-workers







Children seated and ready for the program


Gabriel praying fervently for us and the children The fabulous staff at SBV
The ladies and their new skirts
Sonya showing off her chicken area Sonya's chickens

Shovel, dump, tamp…repeat

Thursday, June 24

We really earned our salaries today! We spent most of the day filling in the rooms of the boys dormitory. Here is the process… First you fill a wheelbarrow with sand, roll it to the designated room, dump the sand, tamp it down with a really heavy tamper. So we had several people shoveling, 3 people wheeling, 3 or 4 people tamping. All morning in the hot sun. By lunch time we were beat. (see pix) The construction workers were very patient and helpful despite our clumsiness! Mario, El Jefe, was particularly nice to us. He would adjust our techniques so that we could do more with less effort or avoid hurting ourselves! We all had a very still, quiet siesta (read we were all sound asleep) until we reluctantly got up at 1 to resume our labors. Thankfully, God is good and clouds rolled in. It was amazing the difference doing the same work without the benefit of the boiling sun beating down on us! We really made a lot of progress in the afternoon – much more than I thought we would. We broke at 3:30 (ish) to spend some time with the children. Pamm continued to deepen her bond with Yolani. By the way, Pamm has a couple of other monikers – “Not Amanda” and “Momella” The kids will see her from a distance and call, “Amanda!” When they see it is not me they say, “Oh.” and go on their way. Pamm has gotten into the habit of saying, “It’s ‘Not Amanda’!” Aaron Joshue, attempting to say Pamm or PamELLA, calls her Momella! So cute.


Donna, Leamarie, Jan, and Anne (aka Anita) spent the day in Flor. Leamarie moved her teacher workshops to El Cordero and the others worked with the CAP ladies making skirts with zippers! I asked them if they used the same technique I used to use: 1. Put zipper in upside down. Then rip out. 2. Put zipper in right side up and backwards. Then rip out. 3. Burst into tears, try again. “Um, no,” said the three expert seamstresses! They reported all skirts zippered properly by the ladies.

Jan had an amazing encounter with Erling. Turns out I was wrong. Isidra is not his mother, but has taken him under her wing. Erling told Jan that he was abandoned as a baby and has never had a mother. Jan told him she has two daughters but no sons so from now on, he is her son. He gave her a huge hug and rested his head on her chest. Later he explained that he was listening to her heart… Imagine that. I suppose he has never had the opportunity until now to just be held by a mother. Then he gave her a smalled stuffed animal – a tiger holding a baby tiger. He said, “the big tiger is you, the little one is me.”

As many times as I have been here, something always leaves me speechless. Time after time, there is an event that is indescribably beautiful. God’s love is absolutely tangible here. Honestly, if you want to experience an encounter with the Divine, visit LAMB.

I can’t bear to think about tomorrow being our last day. I have already been answering the kids’ questions about when I will be back. October is my plan. Anyone want to come?

Geoff...

El Jefe and "Jeferina"

Pamm with Yolani

Children with some of the books sent by Milton's Spanish Honor Society led by Mrs. Bush!

Leamarie leading a teacher workshop

Grace (and shopping)

Wednesday, June 23

Today most of us went to Flor del Campo for a tour of El Cordero, the day school, and to meet with the CAP ladies.  El Cordero now has two assemblies on Wednesday morning.  The younger kids' assembly starts at 7:20 am (!) and the older kids start at 8:20.  We got there for the tail of the first and stayed for the second assembly.  The kids are adorable as usual. The character trait of the week is tolerance -- be tolerant of others but if things go too far, take a positive approach to stopping or changing the behavior.  Be tolerant and be gentle and positive when correcting someone.  Hmm.  How many of us need to hear that lesson?

Jackie, the school director, spoke to us for several minutes.  I was so impressed with her when I met her in February and am even more blown away by her now.  Several pairs of eyes were flooded with tears when she explained that this is not a job for her, it is service to God.  Her face was radiant as she said that.  What a blessing she is.  We asked about the 6th grade class - 8 students.  We (and they) are worried about what happens next year.  Right now, the school doesn't have any room for a 7th grade.  WE NEED TO FIND A WAY TO HAVE A 7TH GRADE NEXT YEAR.  Get on your knees, put on your thinking caps... We need space and a teacher.   Pray for a solution to this. 

After a tour of the school, complete with performances by the tiniest in the daycare, we crossed the street to the LAMB office to be with the CAP ladies.  I was thrilled beyond words to see my dear amiga Sonia.  We all sat in a circle and introduced ourselves to the group.  Petronilla started and added that she is 87 years old.  Next was Susanna, 93.  Everyone after that included their age.  When it came to my turn, I introduced myself and announced I am 20 years old.  The CAP ladies roared!  Hey!   Then Pamm and Jan also claimed to be 20.  Great hilarity among the group!  I wept as Erling, a young man of 19, introduced himself.  He is part of the Alonzo Movement.  He explained that he had dropped out of school, was getting into drugs and gangs.  Now, because of the Alonzo Movement, he is out of gangs and drugs and has hope for his future.  His mother, Isidra who is also head of the CAP program, described Alonzo Movement and said they now have 130 children participating.  This ministry only started last December!  Imagine that - in 6 short months 130 children's lives have been changed.  I was sobbing by that point.  If you ever doubted the power of God's love, check out the Alonzo Movement. 

Jan had worked with the ladies yesterday making jewelry which they had on display for sale.  Naturally, we oohed and aahed and bought tons.  Erling had made woven bracelets, which the teens scarfed up before I could get over there!  I managed to get one of the small ones.  We bought everyone of his bracelets - the large ones are true works of art.  After the sale was over, we brought out snacks for everyone.  We were all milling around socializing when I happened to see Erling and Isidra in the most beautiful, intense embrace with Erling's face buried in his mother's neck.  I can only imagine what their emotions were but it was truly a sacred moment. I will never forget it.  It seemed like Isidra was overcome with pride for her son's success and relief that the Alonzo Movement had returned her precious son to her.  It seemed like he was overcome with relief and joy from his unexpected success.  Beautiful.

Reluctantly we left, shifted gears and headed off to our GianCarlo and Valle run.  Yes. We bought them out!  Lots of new, great stuff for the art auction this year!  You may know that Carolyn is a picky eater.  I am sorry for her to say she has been de-throned.  Pamm now has the crown (or should I say tiara...)  She ordered a chicken sandwich at the restaurant in Valle.  After a long wait, they delivered two sandwiches on white bread.  She immediately pulled them apart to examine the contents. To our collective surprise, the chicken sandwich included ham.  I believe she touched every part of the sandwich before declaring it too weird to eat.  My favorite part was when she sweetly offered her manhandled sandwich to Bruce, "Do you want my sandwich?"  Bruce blanched but politely declined.  The rest of us at the table aren't nearly as refined as he is.  We turned inside out and screeched "ewwwww" at the thought of eating Pamm's fingerprinted reject.

When we returned home we reunited with Anne and Leamarie who spent the day at SBV.  Leamarie is happier every day she spends out there.  Heads up Holy Family:  You will lose Leamarie to Honduras sooner rather than later.  Have you ever seen her beam?  There is nothing like it in the world.  She lights up the entire room when she talks about the school, the teachers, the children.  When we arrived she was nervous about the prospect of living here.  The other evening we went to PriceMart (like Sam's Club) to buy bulk food for Carla and her baby.  As we walked in Leamarie squeeked and exclaimed, "They sell flat screen TVs!  Now I know I will be OK here."  I really don't think she wants one, just the idea she could get one is enough!  She delivered the books that Mrs Bush's students collected.  The children were thrilled!  I will have pix later as they are on L's camera and she has gone to bed. 

Anne had a wonderful day with the teens sewing.  From Monday to Tuesday lunch they made 10 chair bags.  Today they made 16!  Astrid, Reina, Paty, and Ela really have gotten the hang of it and have caught her enthusiasm.  Anne, yesterday, delivered the gifts that the ECW from St. James sent to the children at SBV who had never received a gift before.  Anne still gets teary telling us about it.  We haven't tired hearing about it yet!  As each child pulled out the surprises from their bags they were absolutely delighted.  Every child picked something from the bag and ran to Valerie to share some of their gifts with her.  Valerie was in tears, Anne was a mess -- these children who have nothing -- their first instinct is to share whatever they get.  Amazing. Grace.

Tomorrow is back to work at SBV.  I can't bear to think the week is coming to an end.

Wish I could share how wonderful this place is, this place of miracles, with each and every one of you.

Thanks be to God.

Sixth graders putting on a program for us during assembly

Wonderful Jackie, Director of El Cordero school

Toddlers performing for us

Carolyn holding the tiniest "student" at El Cordero daycare!

Erling, member of Alonzo Movement

Erling and his wares...now on the wrists of the teens and most of us!

Lovely Isidra, head of the CAP program

Melissa holding one of the things she made

Jan leading the ladies in the macarena!

Pamm's icky food

Rebar Olympics

Tuesday, June 21

"I wish they had rebar olympics," Alyssa said wistfully.  If they did, we would have a GOLD medal team.  When we got to SBV this morning, El Jefe Mario, told us we didn't need to haul rocks but, instead, we needed to assemble more rebar.  He had his workers making the twinkers (hmmm..) so we could focus on the rebar.  We had two rebar stations and were going great guns.  It is amazing how filthy you can get working with rebar... Bonnie raises filthiness (I mean dirtness) to a new level. 

During lunch I realized how exhausted I was. My stamina isn't up to par yet and I really hit the wall.  I decided to take it easy the rest of the day.  I turned in my pinkers and twisters and invited a small group into renegade activity - trespassing on the neighboring property to see the beautiful view over the valley.  We spent the rest of the afternoon playing with the children.  You just can't get enough of that.  Each one is so different and so precious.  One day it is a baby who grabs your heart, the next day it is one of the little boys, then another day it is one of the girls, then, of course, there are the teens.  The ATL teens are so good with the kids and truly love them.  The children love them right back.  It is a joy to see them all playing and laughing and hugging each other.  What a gift.

Speaking of gifts... Anne and Donna and the Honduran teens finished the chair bags they were making for the 4&5th grade classrooms.  Reina and Astrid in particular really took to the sewing.  The chair bags are beautiful and fit perfectly.  It was a delight to watch the children come into their classroom and see them.  The boys raced over and were very seriously and carefully arranging and rearranging their things in the bag on their chair.  Donna and Anne were so proud of the teens! Reina has announced that she is going to make a dress and will wear it the next time Anne comes back!

Jan had a great day again in Flor with the La Cantera ladies.  They made several items that they are going to have ready to sell tomorrow when we get there.  They were so excited and Jan is so proud of them.  We gave each of our teens $10 so they could buy the things for sale tomorrow.  How blessed we are to be a part of their lives and to see them learning skills that can earn money and improve their lives.

After a delish dinner and don-nut holes for dessert (I didn't want any but it would have been rude not to eat them... hehehe) Suzy came over for the evening.  She brought her guitar and we sang several songs.  She read some scripture, led us in prayer and then talked to us about listening to God and giving up anxiety and worry.   In many ways I felt she was talking to me.  I am so eager to move here but am anxious about how to get from where I am in my life to this life in HN that I am so hoping to have.  I have to work on my listening skills.

Tomorrow is Flor del Campo and Valle of the Angels.  Early morning, tired now so I will sign off. Thanks to everyone reading this blog and keeping us all in your thoughts and prayers.

Courtney with dirty face and hands!

Seriously? You should have seen the rest of her...

Fani with her new dress and pelucha from Auntie Kathy!

Rebar dream team

Astrid working hard

Reina and Anne

Showing off the finished product

Daniel and Alex putting their school things away in their new chair bags!

Conga lines, pinkers, twinkers, and more

Monday, June 21

Our first day of work!  Jan headed off by herself bravely in a taxi (David carefully arranged for the "LAMB taxi driver" so she was perfectly safe.) to Flor to begin working with the ladies on sewing projects.  When the rest of us got to SBV, Leamarie headed off for the school and Anne and Donna started a sewing project with the girls.  The rest of us headed to the building site.  Our first task was a...CONGA LINE!  We had to move rocks from a pile outside the foundation to piles inside the foundation.  We were really going at it when Pamm, who was acting as photo historian, returned announcing, "Tengo HOMBRES!"  and meant it!  Behind her trooped 6 or 7 hale and hearty manly men working with us for the day from another team.  Our own manly men (Bruce, Alex, and Geoff) were thrilled to see them.   The new guys hauled the really big rocks and we conga lined the more manageable rocks, many of which we either named or identified as looking like a meer cat, a pizza slice, massachusetts, etc. 

Mario, el jefe, sent many of us down to make pinkers and twinkers.  (rough translation from Spanish!) We use those to manufacture rebar.  Pinkers are pieces of thin rod and twinkers (see pix) are triangles made of thick rod.  Carolyn, Geoff, Bruce, Courtney, Mary were expert at making them.  Once we had enough we started assembling the rebar - long rods of thick steel threaded through the twinkers and wired on using pinkers. Then we twisted and tightened and trimmed the twinkers.  We were cookin' with gas!

Meanwhile, Anne and Donna were making great progress with the teen girls making denim bags to hang on the back of the chairs in the school to hold books, pencils, rulers, etc.  Reina and Astrid really got the hang of it quickly!

At about 3 we called a work stoppage to play with the kids.  Pamm and I spent alot of time with Yolani.  She is bright as a button and just adorable.  The other children love her and are so affectionate with her.  They will often stop what they are doing to run over and give her a hug or play with her.  Yolani loves the breeze. Whenever a breeze comes up she stops, holds her little arms up and gets the most serene look on her face.  Beautiful. Oh, that we all may find such joy from God's creation.  Pamm and I took her on the slides.  When they got to the bottom, Dunia came up and said, "Yolani" in this funny deep raspy voice.  Yolani burst out into a belly laugh!  Such a sweet sound that was!  Later Pamm and Yolani were hitting the side of the slide.  Pamm realized that Yolani would repeat the pattern that she was hitting!  Amazing.  She is only 18 mos old, blind from birth and has so much potential.  Thanks be to God she is with us instead of the biological mother who gave away "this dog." 

Pamm and Leamarie have been raving about the quality of the education at SBV.  Pamm was looking at the projects the 6th graders had posted in the hall outside their room.  She was truly blown away.  Valerie said she could take them back with her to show her students next year.  Pamm said her students don't do any better work and many not as good.  Leamarie reports that the teachers are so enthusiastic to learn new techniques and how to use the materials she has brought.  The school exudes joy and peace.  What a gift this school is.  Thanks Discovery Services Project, and all the people who have worked on it.  (Renee, I remember the hall everytime I go in.  It remains nice and clean.)

After a delish dinner, Anne, Leamarie, Jan and I squeezed into Danilo's truck with Erika and Andrea in the front.  We drove a long way to go to the HN equivalent to Sam's Club.  We bought alot of non-perishables to give to Carla and her baby.  Her situation is grim. Valerie suggested that food would be better than money so we are loading her up for awhile.

Everyone was exhausted and fell into bed very early!

So off we go to a new day!

Seidy and YolaniThe guapo (cute) workers!Anne and Reina sewingMary and Bruce making pinkers

 Twinker

Courtney's dirty face

 Alex and Alyssa

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